Tomorrow is coming closer

I just want to go to bed and when I wake up have it all over with. Last night I didn't want to go to bed because I didn't want today to come. No more eating for a while. My last meal consisted of salad, mashed potatoes with lots of butter and salmon with homemade lemon meringue pie for dessert. It was yummy. Today I get to have consomme, apple juice, water, power aid....you get the picture. They told me I won't have anything even to drink for a couple of days. I guess everything I need will go through my IV, I just hope I don't have to deal with hunger pains, maybe they'll keep me drugged enough I won't know I'm hungry. I keep trying to imagine what the change I am about to experience is going to be like. I can't imagine how I will feel. I know pain, so I am not afraid of that, but I am afraid of what I don't know. I know a lot of people live with a colostomy, I just need to find a way to deal with the change in lifestyle.